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| Welcome Home!!!!!!! |
Sean ended up flying nonstop from Istanbul to Austin. This trip home would only take a day instead of the usual 2 days it took for him to arrive from Iraq. There were delays but I was anxiously waiting and waiting. The night before, I went to sleep and he was just leaving Europe. When I woke up, he was over the ocean. I track his flights and my heart skipped a beat when he finally made it to North America. I got more and more excited as I watched his plane inch closer and closer to Texas. They rented him a car to drive the hour home. It was an unusually foggy night and I hate driving, especially at night, so we planned for him to just drive home from Austin. I expected him around midnight. He ended up pulling into the driveway around 2am. Mind you, this was the first time he was seeing our new home that we purchased in April. I was watching for headlights and I met him outside when he pulled in. Surprisingly, he had stopped and got me roses. He gave me 10...one for each month that he was gone. That first hug, that first kiss...it never gets old! He came in and greeted the dogs, who of course, were ecstatic! He greeted Brandy. She was so happy her Dad was finally home. We were hungry so almost immediately, he and I went to Whataburger for some food for everyone. Just the fact that I didnt have to drive was awesome! He was exhausted. We all were so we came home and went to bed.
Brittany and Keagan had to leave a few days later to get back to Louisiana because they both had to work. Bailey and James stayed until the 29th. Lots of family time, lots of memories made. Sean's leave was going great to this point. Busy but still great!
The day that Bay and James went back home to El Paso, Sean's brother Taylor and his girlfriend Stefanie, flew in from Maine for the weekend. This was our first time meeting her so we were excited. We only had the weekend with them but a couple days were better than nothing. Sean and his brother are close and its always a treat if Taylor can make it down to visit when he comes home. We decided to go down to Austin the next day to play tourists. Stefanie is great and we hit if off immediately. It was so great to see Taylor so happy. Well, we headed down to Austin on Saturday. We went to Graffiti Park, went to S. Congress Bridge and just enjoyed downtown for a bit. Taylor and Stef treated us to an AMAZING dinner at Austin Land & Cattle. It was a really fun day and evening. Well we headed back home and made it to HEB in JUST enough time to buy alcohol for New Years Eve. It was nice getting to know Stef, watching Sean and Taylor have some bro time. We spent a quiet night in on New Years Eve. It was my FIRST midnight kiss in 3 years!
The weather was bad. It was in the single digits, it snowed for a few minutes and to us Texans...that means hibernating. They left to go back home to Maine on New Years Day. It was a short but wonderful visit!
FINALLY, Sean and I could relax and breathe. Life had been pretty nonstop since he got home so we were ready to do absolutely NOTHING. That is EXACTLY what we did for the remainder of his time home. We didnt go anywhere really. We literally stayed home, spent time with each other and I actually cooked alot! I was enjoying being a wife again. The kids came back home from El Paso for the MLK extended weekend and Brittany was able to come by herself. They wanted to spend time with their Dad as much as they could. As usual, those few days were tons of fun!
By this time, we had a couple more weeks of his leave left. It was just Sean, Brandy and I. Our NORM. This time was spent being bored together...just being a couple and family again. Sean did everything during his leave. He took Brandy to school and work every day. He went to the grocery store almost daily. Did all the running around. I think I literally drove twice in the 6 weeks he was home. He cleaned the kitchen every night, took the trash out, locked up every night and dealt with the dogs. It was SO NICE to let go of those things and let him handle it. He didnt complain once. These are the things he does while he is home. He was more than willing to take some responsibility off my shoulders. Could not love him more for that. Dealing with every detail of every thing by myself for the last 11 months was frustrating for me, to say the least. I needed a break and he knew this.
Our marriage reached a new level. We celebrated being together for 13 years on New Years Eve. Thats a LONG time! During these 6 weeks, surprisingly, we didnt argue or fight ONCE! SWEAR!! We had a serious discussion a few days after he came home and instead of it turning into resentent, anger and uncomfortable feelings...we actually communicated and dealt with it the right way...for the first time. I let my walls down, I broke down and spoke from my heart instead of anger. Its crazy that the way you communicate can totally turn things around. We connected on a deeper level. He responded with real talk, not with "IDK" or silence like he usually does. Ive always had a guard up to a point with him. But letting it down proved to be the BEST move Ive ever made. It allowed him to hear my words, feel what I was feeling and he wasnt so clueless anymore. It was a risk Im glad I took. From that point on, we were so in sync. Like we are supposed to be. We literally fell in love all over again. I havent been able to say anything close to that in over 10 years. It feels nice and it feels amazing to have a partner be on the same page as me...FINALLY.
As time was winding down, I was getting sad. Really sad. I loved having him home. I loved having my other half with me and for the first time in a long time, I just loved having him around and close to me. Getting a hug and kiss whenever I wanted was nice. Having a companion is nice. Just having my husband be a husband is nice. He was attentive, thoughtful, caring and I felt loved and appreciated. What more could I want? Things were AMAZING! Life was WONDERFUL! We laughed so much and so hard at times that I couldnt breathe. He always tells me that he loves making me laugh. He doesnt care how stupid he has to act, as long as he sees me laughing.
His last week, he got sick. He spent all of Sunday in bed. I enjoyed checking on him and taking care of him...during the commercials of the AFC Championship, of course lol
I was annoyed though. I did NOT want him to be sick his last week home. So thankfully, after a few days, he was feeling a little better. He went to the doctor and it turned out he had a sinus infection so he got some antibiotics and was good to go. I was determined more than ever to soak up every second we had. I took TONS of pics, he obliged. I caught myself just looking at him out of the blue. I love my husband. I am grateful he loves me and I am just happy with the life we've built together. It took A LOT of hard work, reconciliation, love, anger and everything else you can think of, to get us to the point we are now. I can say, it was all worth it. Without our trying times, we wouldnt be in the amazing place we are now with our marriage. I really have to give him credit for holding us together when I wanted to give up. He said some things to me, to my face, that hes never said to me. I wont go into detail so I will just say, he looked in my eyes and went into depth of how much he loves me and what I mean to him. That is HUGE for him! I didnt have to ask, beg or pry any of this out of him. He said this out of the blue. I was so shocked that no words could come out of my mouth. I just buried myself in his chest and cried as he stroked my hair and my back. Strokes of reassurance. I dont think Ive felt that secure and loved by him since the first couple years we were together. This moment was when I knew without a doubt, he is my soulmate, my love, my best friend and I did not want to live a day without him. As strange as it is for me to say, we literally fell in love all over again. Wow, I missed this feeling for so long!
We didnt do anything extravagant this leave. We didnt go out of town. We didnt go out alot. We literally spent 24/7 together and spent our time at home. It was a very nice change. It was also sweet because we just enjoyed each other, every minute of every day. Normally it would be annoying to me but this time, I wished we had more time together like this.
Well January 28, our time together was up. I was a wreck. This time was different. I cant count how many "see ya soons" we have been through. Because we reconnected to an amazing level, my heart literally ached at the thought of him leaving again. I hadnt felt like this since 2007 when he deployed for 14 mths. It was hard for him too. I could see it in his eyes. He was trying to be strong for me and trying to keep me strong but I could see the anguish of him leaving in his eyes. He loves me, he loves our home and he loves our family. I cried from the minute we woke up that morning. I dropped him at the airport. A long hug and kiss goodbye through my tears. The small consolation I had was that he was flying to NC to requal for a week so he would still be stateside and only an hour ahead of me. But he wasnt WITH me anymore so my heart ached. I felt empty. My partner, my best friend, my love was leaving again.
After he walked into the airport, I got in the car. Took a deep breath. Sat there for a minute so my eyes could dry up a little so I would be able to see to drive. As usual, my short 10 minute drive home was a blur. I was in a zone. However, I wanted to remember the feelings I was having. Im grateful to have someone I miss so much.
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| I hate goodbyes! |
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| I dont want to go back in my house alone |
I pulled in my driveway and just sat there in my car and cried one last good cry. I dreaded going in the house without him. The dogs would know he wasnt coming back for a while. They were GLUED to him his entire time home. I knew that they would sense what was up. I didnt want to go inside and not have anyone to cook breakfast for. I didnt want to not have anyone to hug or kiss or talk to. The silence. I hated it. I had gotten so used to having him around. I sucked it up after about 10 mins and walked in. I sat down and just stared off into space. I was definitely in a zone. I had to get Brandy up in a couple hours and take her to work. My first "back to normal" thing I had to do. Its a good thing because it helped get me back to where I needed to be emotionally. I made some posts, kind of documenting my morning. Not gonna lie, its sad as fuck to look at but I just wanted to do my best to show just how hard this is. I wanted memories. Well, the comments along with texts and messages from people I love were so uplifting and encouraging for me. I was reminded how many times Ive done this before. I was reminded of how strong I am. I was reminded that I could reach out to my people if I needed to. An hour prior, my heart was in pieces. After sitting in silence for a while, I said FUCK IT..like, out loud...I have no reason to feel THIS sad. Besides, he is coming home again in 3 mths. We decided we will never go 10 mths apart again. With his job, he is fortunate to where he gets to somewhat dictate how long we are apart and how long he stays home on leave. 3 mths is NOTHING to us. So, I got out of that sad, negative, self pity mode REAL QUICK! I had some moments where I teared up here and there but for the most part, I was ok...I will be ok! Im sure that some emotion will come over me on Friday when he flies overseas and he is again, 9 hours ahead of me. But this is life. Life must go on and it will!
I have a lot to keep me occupied these next 3 mths. First things first...THANK GOD my Patriots are going to the Super Bowl again and SB week could NOT have come at a better time. So I will be engulfed in SB coverage all week.
I will give myself until a few days after the Super Bowl to recover from our win...yes, we WILL win AGAIN! Then life continues. Bailey is going to be going to Dental Assistant school in Round Rock so she is coming home this weekend for her interview. My best friend's son is coming to visit for the weekend so Im excited to see Matthew. He's in MOS school in San Antonio for a while. He's like my son so it will great to see him again. Bailey is planning to semi-move home for a bit while she does the DA program. Im so proud that she is being so proactive about securing her career and her future. Im even more grateful that she has an understanding, supportive husband who pushes her to succeed. Brandy has a lot happening. I have Senior pictures to schedule, prom is coming and then Graduation on June 1st. The preparation for that alone is overwhelming but nonetheless, exciting. I have to be sure to soak in every minute. She is my last child to graduate so this will definitely be bittersweet. We planned to have Sean come home mid-May so he can help with all the preparation. Lots to do, lots to plan, lots to keep me busy!
So back to my "Facetime Marriage" for a while. Thank goodness for that! Even better, Brittany got me an iPad for Christmas so now I can see his cute face even bigger now! Like I said before, 3 mths aint shit lol This will go by sooooo fast!
Sooooo HAPPY 2018 Everyone! I know this year will fly by for me....I hope it brings you all everything you want and more!!
I almost forgot!! I have to congratulate my son in law for getting promoted! He has been in the Army just over a year and a half. In that time, he got waivers for promotions so he is now an E-4 Specialist. Not only that, he was put in and WON Soldier of the Month! What an accomplishment! He is definitely fast tracking and he is a STELLAR Soldier! He's also completed Air Assault School! We could not be more proud of him!
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| Soldier of the Month |
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| Congrats SPC Whitcomb |
