Stay True To YOU

I remember when I was younger, even into my early adulthood, I wanted to be liked and accepted. Doesnt everyone? I never had a specific group of people I hung out with exclusively. I was just all over the place. Friends with anyone. Hoping that someone would find a trait in me that they liked so I could be one of those "lifelong" friends. The BEST FRIEND. Well, what I probably ended up giving people was someone who was rebellious, loved to party, and just went along with whatever. I wasnt a follower but I wasnt a leader either. I just went with the flow.

Fast forward to my early 30s. After a lifetime of complete chaos and negativity, I started the journey to find my TRUE SELF. When I divorced my first husband, somehow that gave me the strength I needed to TRULY find out who I was. I was able to leave an abusive situation of 13 yrs, not knowing what my future would be like. As scary as it was, it was the best decision of my life. I am who I am today because of the lessons Ive learned and the soul searching I did.

This is how Im described today, by people that know me, people that make the effort to get to know the real me. 

I am brutally honest. If I take the time to risk hurting your feelings just so you can better yourself, that shows how much you mean to me. I will risk losing you so you can be better. So you can be happy. Thankfully, most know this and they appreciate this. You cant sugarcoat shit and you surely cant sit by and watch someone you care about constantly self destruct. If you dont do what you can, what kind of friend are you? My love for my people runs deep. If I invest in you, you are worth it. I refuse to tell people what they want to hear. I dont have that in me. 

I speak my mind and I wont apologize for it. I will not walk on eggshells around anyone. I wont not say something just to spare feelings. If I see something fucked up, I will make it known. Why would anyone hide their feelings like that? I discovered by doing that, it just eats you up. It can actually add stress to your life, which no one needs. If you dont speak up, you wont achieve or get what you want. People cant read your mind be vocal about what you want or need.

If you arent contributing to my life in a positive way, I dont need you. Its that simple. Ive been through the fake and barely there friendships. I was talking to an old friend last night...I told her "If you have to wonder where you stand in someone's life, if you have to wonder what you mean to them, BYE" No one should have to wonder if they are cared about. Negativity has no place in my life. I cant handle people that are emotionally and mentally draining anymore. The ones that suck you dry! Im an empath and I tend to take on other's problems and issues. Well, I realized that the only people I will completely invest myself in are my husband, my kids and my tribe. That is who my world revolves around. Dont get me wrong, I am there for anyone, to listen, to help in any way I can. However, if I feel like Im talking to a brick wall and actions are repetitive, I will just slowly step back. Im not about to watch a train wreck continuously crash when you were given ideas and tools to make it a smooth ride.

I love hard. I will do anything in my power to fix whatever is wrong. I do it because I cant stand seeing people suffer. At the same time, if you arent helping yourself, Im done.

When I turned 40, a lot of my thoughts changed. How I view people and how I view life. Ive spent the last 6 years realizing what and who I need in my life so that I will thrive. I can honestly say Ive found it. Be kind, be honest, be loyal and be real. Yes, I require those traits in people I choose to be in my life. Encouragement breeds encouragement. Kindness breeds kindness....and so on.

I dont need a million friends. I dont need to fit in because I stand out in those people who love me for who I am. I dont need to filter how I live. I am worth being loved and liked without having to conform to what people want me to be. I am accepted because I am a good person. I have a huge heart because it makes me feel good to reach out and be there for others. Im a giver because it hurts me to see people struggle. I am loyal because I expect loyalty back. 

In today's world, with social media, its easy to find yourself comparing your life to others. Its almost inevitable. What I found out is that its also really easy to see who is fake as fuck and who isnt. Boasting and sharing are completely different. The perfect lives you see arent all that perfect. The ones who try to keep up with the Joneses are struggling. As much or as hard as it is not to compare your life to others, its IMPERATIVE that you be content with YOUR OWN life. Now, I sit back, scroll through FB, I smile and my heart is filled with joy when I see friends living their best life. I share in the successes. I hurt for their losses. The "perfect" ones...I laugh and just scroll on. I dont think people realize how transparent they really are. I share my joys, I share my lows, I am honest. I dont have the perfect family. I dont have the nicest of things. I also dont share every single detail of every event to where my life looks like a shit show from the outside looking in either lol You know we all have those FB friends who use it as a diary...PLEASE STOP LOL What I do have is MY LIFE. What I do have is plenty of love. If there are people who feel the need to try to impress people...thats pretty sad. 

When my kids get overwhelmed with life....I simply remind them that they have a roof over their heads. Food to eat and their bills are paid. I preach to them about not wasting all the energy of freaking out when in reality, life is good. Im all about solutions. Cry your cry, but dont sit in it. Spend that time figuring out how to fix it. I consider myself a strong person and that is how Ive raised my daughters. 

I guess my point is, you are in control over how you want to live. I choose to live by my rules, my standards and by what makes me feel good. Life is too short to dwell on negativity and allow it to take over your life. You cant MAKE someone do something or FORCE someone to feel a certain way. You CAN decide how you are going to react though. Youre not hurting anyone by looking out for yourself. You have to come first. Being true to you is all that matters. Being your authentic self is a great way to be. People will see this, respect this and maybe even take notes. People may see this and think "Whatever, shes just a mean bitch" LOL  Its nice to not give a damn what people think of me. My people love me. Plain and simple. Its all I need. I wont change for anyone. I can decide to do things differently but in the end, its all about making me happy and my life better. Is this selfish? NOPE! You cant be a better person for anyone until you can be ok with the person you already are.

Again I will say, if you arent real and true, I dont want you in my life. I need genuine people, good hearted people. Uplifting, encouraging, trustworthy and loyal people. I could not be more grateful that I have EXACTLY that because I refuse to settle for anything less!